Listina's CHRists

These Are A Few Of My Not So Favorite Things...

2009-04-26T17:08:00.005-05:00

1. Rodents... mice, hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs.They freak me out. As a child my mother thought she could help me get over my fear of rodents by purchasing a hamster and a cage and putting it in my room(Needless to say it didn't work). His name was Harry, and he lived 3 years. Now three years is along time to share a room with a hamster that you couldn't even look at. I never played with him, I left that up to my parents. Any time I would go to my room I would throw a sheet over his cage. Poor Harry.

2. Mayonnaise, Miracle Whip, or any other condiment that contains the mixture off egg whites, vinegar, and oil. No Thank You.

3. Stockard Channing.

4. Nosey people.

5. Conservative Evangelicals with their Hyper-Faith.

6. Most, if not all sitcoms from the 70's.

7. Minutemen. Not the band, but the neighborhood watch group along our borders.

8. Glenn Beck.

9. Rush Limbaugh.

10. Torture.

11. The middle of the states.

2009-04-24T09:56:00.008-05:00

If I were to make a mix tape today, these would be the songs I would be a mixin'.

1. Gauge Away-Pixies
2. Sometime Around Midnight- The Airborne Toxic Event
3. All My Loving- The Beatles
4. Good Friend Yr Hunger- Castanets
5. Moi Je Joue- Brigitte Bardot
6. First Breath After Coma- Explosions In The Sky
7. 5 Years Time- Noah and The Whale
8. Messenger- Blonde Redhead featuring David Sylvian

9. Oxford Comma- Vampire Weekend
10. Electric Renaissance- Belle and Sebastian

Happy Belated Earth Day

2009-04-23T10:26:00.003-05:00

There's a swirl of garbage in the middle of the Pacific twice the size of Texas, and 90ft. deep. It consist mainly of plastics such as tooth brushes, grocery bags... Basically you name it and it's floating out there.

Sorry for my absence

2009-04-19T21:47:00.003-05:00

Take note, never purchase anything off Craigslist. Last month I was abducted while purchasing designer jeans from a man named Lee. Not as in Lee Smith or even Lee Sternberg, but as in Lee Wong. I was to meet him at his house to make the purchase. Never meet at the sellers house. Always meet in large crowded places, and if you happen to decide to meet at their house never graciously accept a cup of Song Luo tea, because you will wake up in a sweatshop as a slave in Chengdu, China making jeans next to a 12 year old girl who doesn't speak your language and wont even look at you.
Survival mode stepped in, and as I shared a sweat stained cot every night for a month with a girl named Hao I learned how to write SOS letters in 4 different languages. For almost a month, every night when I went to cot I wrote four letters, and every morning when I went to labor I snuck the letters into 4 separate pairs of jeans. Size 7, size 9, size 12, and one plus size, size 18. Luckily a Canadian transsexual named Luscious found my letter, and thanks to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police I was freed.
And that is why it's been so long since my last posting.

6 Reasons Why Quentin Tarantino is The Best

2009-03-24T12:23:00.002-05:00

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.
Oh, I can't wait!

Ahh...Midgets

2009-03-20T01:44:00.008-05:00

DISCLAIMER:

Dear Reader,
In no way does me using the word midget mean that I'm making fun of the little people. So don't be offended. If I were a little person I would much rather be called a midget rather than a dwarf. Dwarf is insulting. It's very Disney. You know what I'm saying?

Sincerely, Christina

If Ray from In Bruges was a real person, and he could have been witness to what I saw over St. Patrick's day weekend, and on St. Patty's day he would have shit himself with joy. I was sitting at a bar waiting for my friend's band to play when 2 midgets walked in. Now in these situations I always get nervous. I never want to look at them because I'm always afraid that they are going to think I'm laughing or making fun of them, but if I look like I'm obviously trying not to look then maybe they would be offended. So I just look around to see how other people are reacting. Oh but I want to look, because they are such a rare sight to behold. I actually sat beside a midget at at a part-time job as a telemarketer for FUN TIME TOURS back when I was in college. He sat on the right of me and an Indian woman in a sari with a tilak on her forehead set on the left of me. It was a strange place to work. A motley crew of employees. That job only lasted a month... Back to my St. Patrick's day weekend.

So, these 2 midgets walk into a bar. The man was dressed like a leprechaun, and his woman was not. So I felt this was a free pass to stare. I mean a midget dressed as a leprechaun wants you to look, right? well, during my friends show they hopped on stage as if to say, "LOOK AT ME!" and then they just stood there making grimacing faces as if to say look at us you fucking assholes, you fucking tall people. No one from the band knew who they were.
Tuesday rolls around(St. Patty's day) and The Von Bondies and Silversun Pickups were playing a free show in K.C. I decided to go. Among the sea of Green and drunken white people I spot more midgets and they too were dressed as Leprechauns. Oh god! why do they do this? Should I feel bad for them? Do they like to do this, or is it a sorta "tears of a clown" kinda thing?

One of the Best On-Screen Kisses (one of the worst movies)

2009-03-10T00:48:00.005-05:00

For Your Listening Pleasure

2009-03-10T00:23:00.001-05:00

The Adore...

2009-02-28T01:07:00.004-06:00

Paolo Conte, and songs sung in Italian. Is there anything better? I heard this Italian song tonight after drinking 2 grande Margarita's in an authentic Mexican cantina. I had heard this song many years ago but forgot the goodness. So, for your listening pleasure I present Via con me, sung by the great Paolo Conte.

Myspace and Facebook and Twitter! Oh My!

2009-02-26T21:36:00.000-06:00

The other night I was suffering from another nasty case of insomnia, so I decided to get online and check my electronic-mail, and there it was, an invitation from my friend Davina to join Twitter. Wow, another form of sending out a mass texts/status. Is this the only way we communicate with people now?
Out of all the personal networking sites I'm still a loyalist to Myspace. Facebook bothers me in the sense that everyone on there collects friends like baseball cards. I mean do you really have 153 friends in real life? Not me.
I guess I'll give Twitter a whirl.
Who am I kidding. I'll invite some friends to join me on Twitter. Send out some tweets, and then never return.

Viva Mexico

2009-02-25T19:00:00.000-06:00

Something happened to me after I had my kids. I never got sick. 3 years and not even a cold. It's become a mind over matter sort of thing I guess. When my kid's get sick I just tell myself I can't. And I don't. Well guess what? I'm sick. It finally got me, and it's kicking my ass. I hate going to the doctor. I usually self diagnose my ailment via Internet and thanks to my friend Jeff I have drugs to cure my self- diagnosed sinus infection/Strepococcal pharyngitis. I've got 3 bottles of 100 count Mexican amoxicillin. Every year Jeff goes to Mexico and always says, "I'll bring you something back." And every year he brings me Antibiotics. No, never does he bring me back real Mexican tequila in a worm shaped bottle with a dead worm in the bottle. I get drugs. Well, now they are coming in handy. I'm still a leery about how well drugs from Mexico are regulated. I mean who knows I could be taking capsules filled with baby powder. Anyway...I'll go to bed now.

Dark Was The Night

2009-02-24T10:42:00.000-06:00

Recently I downloaded Dark Was The Night. It's so good. All my favorite artists covering early American songs to help raise funds and AIDS awareness. My favorite song so far is Feist and Ben Gibbard's cover of "Train Song".

Sometimes you will hear people say that everything that happens bad in the world is because god's punishing people for their wicked ways, e.g. Katrina, tsunamis, AIDS, Barbara Streisand...Well thank you God for creating AIDS, because now we have this bitchin' Album.

I can't believe I just wrote that. It sounded funny in my head, but in actual words I'm sure It will offend.

This Morning's Random Thoughts

2009-02-23T10:38:00.000-06:00

1. Oh yes... waking up to NPR news is the best. Their voices are so soothing. Even when they are talking devastation and despair.
2. Why can't I go to bed earlier than 1:30 a.m.
3. The Oscar's were just about perfect last night, except for that little bit with Beyonce. Why do they have to drag her out for everything.
4. How come you never hear about people exploring the south pole as much as you hear about exploration of the Arctic. Is the Antarctic just that much more brutal?
5. I'm going to start posting on here everyday. Even if I can't think of anything to post but a grocery list.
6. Why are my fingertips numb and tingly? I'm pretty sure I'm having a stroke.

Tonight I Predict...

2009-02-22T10:56:00.000-06:00

Mickey Rourke will win best actor for "The Wrestler"
Heath Ledger will win best actor in a supporting role for "The Dark Knight"
Kate Winslet will win best actress for "The Reader"
Taraji P. Henson will win best actress in supporting role for "The Curios Case of Benjamin Button"
"Wall-E" will win best animated feature film
"The Dark Knight" will win best art direction
"The Duchess" will win best costume design
"Slumdog Millionaire" will win best cinematography
"Slumdog Millionaire" will win best in directing
"Man on Wire" will win best documentary
"The Case of Benjamin Button" will win best in film editing
"The Class" will win best foreign language
"The Dark Knight" will win best in makeup
"Slumdog Millionaire" will win original score
"Slumdog Millionaire" will win original song
"The Curios Case of Benjamin Button" will win best motion picture of the year
"Wall-E" will win best in sound editing
"Lavatory-Lovestory" will win best animated short
"The Dark Knight" will win best in sound sound mixing
"The Curious Case of Benny" will win best in visual effects
"The Reader" will win best adapted screenplay
"Milk" will win best original screenplay

I also predict that I will once again not find Comit Lulin through my telescope tonight. I guess I'll wait until the 24th when it's supposed to visible to the naked eye.

Only The Good Die Young

2009-02-19T01:22:00.001-06:00

Here lies my list of TV's greatest that got shot down in their prime. May you rest in peace.

1. The Adventures of Pete & Pete- I was probably too old to be watching this show when it aired, but I really didn't care. I loved, and still love Pete and Pete. It was so creative and the best of the best would make appearances on the show such as, Iggy Pop, Patty Hearst, Steve Bushemi, Debbie Harry, Kate Pierson, Syd Straw, Micheal Stipe, Chris Elliot, Adam West. And did I mention it had the best opening song, "Hey Sandy" by a great little short lived 90's band called Polaris. Now I own the Polaris album that has this song on it, and still to this day I have never really been able to decipher the words on "Hey Sandy".

This is what it sounds like he's saying (at least to me)

Your Smilin' strange
Your lookin' at the leafy range
I can't say you shoombae
Or have you picked your darkest net

Chorus:
It's in me
Don't you talk back, Hey Cindy
Hey Cindy, don't you talk back
Hey Cindy, don't you talk back
It's in me

This is what he's really saying,

Hey smilin' strange
You lookin' happily deranged
Can you settle to shoot me?
Or have you picked your target yet?

Chorus:
Hey Sandy
Don't you talk back, Hey Sandy
Hey Sandy, don't you talk back
Hey Sandy, Don't you talk back
Hey Sandy...

Farewell my little viking.

2. Arrested Development- What can I say about Arrested Development that has not already been said. It was one of the greatest shows ever produced on television, but sadly not enough people watched it. Good news though, there's talk of a movie. Yay!

3. Spaced- Lightning in bottle.

4. Freaks and Geeks
5. Get a Life
6. Andy Dick Show
7. Summer Heights High- This was the most recent show to be ripped away from me. It only lasted one season, but I almost think any more than that might have taken away from the goodness. So I would just like to pay my respects to Mr. G, Ja'mie King, and last but not least, Jonah Takalua. "Public School Rocks!"

Insane or Genius?

2009-02-17T23:34:00.000-06:00

I guess you can't have genius without a little insanity.

Dream Jobs (seemingly unattainable)

2009-02-17T14:39:00.000-06:00

1. Musical Director? Music Arranger?- I'm really not sure what the exact job title is, but I want a job picking the music for films and arranging them to the scenes. Music makes all the difference. Music determines if a films going to be great, good, or just plain bad. I mean I really dream about this job. I'll hear a song and I already see it in in a scene of a movie that doesn't exist. Which leads me to another dream job that I want, film writer/Director. I asked someone who worked in the film industry how would I go about trying to obtain a job like this(Musical Director) and they simply told me without any hesitation,"Dick sucking. Lot's of dick sucking."

2. Film writer/Director.

3. Novelist.

4.Ballet Dancer- Now I know that this will never happen. But remember, this is a list of dream jobs. My obsession for ballet started as a child. My class went on a field trip to see The Nutcracker. It changed my life. As soon as I got home I begged and begged my mom to let me take ballet lessons, but she would always say, "we'll see" which meant "No." So I went to the Library and checked out as many books that I could find on ballet and tried to teach myself. I didn't get very far. So yes, I would love the job of playing the character of Clara from The Nutcracker. Hey, A girl can dream, right?

5. Private Detective- I love solving mysteries.

6. Ghost Hunter- I never believed in ghosts until I lived in an upstairs apartment of an old Victorian mansion that was built in the late 1800's. It was so big, and the entire top floor was mine, and for only $325 a month. It was too good to be true. The very first night I lived there I woke up to what sounded like a young woman saying "Hey get up". The next day I felt very uneasy and nervous like someone was watching me. Never the less I didn't let the strange feeling override my the feeling of complete freedom from finally living alone. But no I was not alone. I actually had a room mate, the worst kind, a dead roommate. Bwahaa ha ha. On my second night while falling asleep I heard the same woman's voice say something inaudible. I open my eyes and I shit you not I see a white ball of light maybe the size of a basketball float across my room to the foot of my bed, and because I'm a flight not fight kinda person I jumped up to run, and as I jumped up the light zipped back into the hall. I just realized that this story could be little long winded so I'm going to shorten the details. Anytime I had a friend of the male variety over to hang out they would always feel someone poking them in the back. One time one of my friends came over and said that while he was walking down the long hall that led to the balcony he felt someone rubbing his lower back. A month goes and I finally see my landlord who lives downstairs and he asked how I liked my place. I said nervously I had some bizarre things happening. He said, "Oh, you've met her!" I say, "who?" And he said, "your roommate, Elizabeth. Sorry I didn't tell you about her. she's our house ghost but she mainly inhabits upstairs." He began telling me the story of her life. In 1890 a wealthy merchant man moved his family to Chattanooga and had the house built for him, his wife, and his twin daughters. In 1910 one of the daughters(Mary Elizabeth) hung herself from the top floor balcony from a jilted love. To make a long story short I only stayed 3 months. It got pretty bad. The last straw was one night my father came to visit. I never told him about the ghost. I guess I thought out of mind out of sight, the less I thought or talked about her the less she would make her presence noticed. My father and I were watching a movie in my living room when all of a sudden my friends guitar that they had left at my house started rocking back and forth. violently. My dad jumps up panicky turns the light on and yells "what was that?" It was then that it stopped rocking. I laughed, and told him that my house was haunted and nothing else was said on the matter. I ended up falling asleep on one of the couches and I guess while I was asleep, the shit went down with my dad. He told me what happened the next morning. He said that the room got very cold, and then he saw some gray black-ish mass in the corner of the room and he said he heard something start dragging down the hall. And then it stopped. That's when he saw her. He said she stood in the hallway right outside of the living room door. she was wearing a white period piece slip and had on tall black boots and she was holding a rope. He said she had long brown hair, brown eyes and bushy eyebrows and she just starred at him, but here's the crazy part, he said while she starred at him he knew exactly why she died and how. and that she was mad because she didn't want me to leave. What the fuck! He told me I had to move and 3 days later he and some of my friends were at my house packing up all my belongings. we all started feeling really sick and decided to leave for a while and come back and finish. Well, when we got back all the boxes in the kitchen were unpacked and there was a pile of boxes blocking the doorway to rest of the apartment. There's a lot more to this story but I will leave it at this. It's easier for me to tell this story rather than write about it. It sounds crazy I know, but I swear it's all true. After this I became interested on what makes people stick around after they die.

7. A photographer for National Geographic.

8. Archaeologist.

Analyze This

2009-02-15T15:25:00.000-06:00

My dream last night went something like this... I walk up to a what appears to be a shop in some depressing run down empty strip mall. I open the door and there's a fold out table in the middle of a small room with 3 people sitting, looking as if they were happy to see me. The room was decorated like a dentist office on a budget. Grey office carpet with stains that could only be from nerve induced vomit or blood stains from some old man whose blood filled gauze dripped from the receptionist desk to the front door, some bad framed posters of hot air balloons, and a dusty fake plastic ficus tree. You get the picture. I go and sit down next to this stranger and she says,"OK guys are you ready?" And then all of sudden the room shoots into space and we're all laughing and screaming with joy. Next thing I know there's no gravity and we're all floating around in space on our metal folding chairs. Then all of sudden we are back in the office sitting around the table. We all get up and say we'll meet again next week. The next week I go back all excited and no one is there. I get depressed and start walking around a city and find a empty bar. I go in and sit down at a table and start dyeing Easter eggs. Cuckoo Cuckoo!
There, you have my fucked up dream. I would give anything to have it again. Have you ever been to outer space? I have. It was amazing.

Curiouser and Curiouser.

2009-01-30T14:41:00.000-06:00

Shalom!

2009-01-27T11:50:00.000-06:00

I would love to know why it is that who I am sexually attracted to in real life is not at all who my subconscious is attracted to in sleep. I mean I've lusted a few times over Clive Owen, Gael Garcia Bernal, James Mcavoy... but no, not in my sleep. My first sexual dream that I can remember was with Billy Crystal. That's right, I said Billy Crystal. He was wearing a red plaid flannel shirt tucked tightly into his snug stonewashed jeans. I walked into this cabin looking house and there was taxidermy on the wall and a roaring fire and Billy Crystal standing in the middle of the room. And the dream went something like this, I jumped up into his arms wrapped my legs around his waist and we kissed passionately I mean it was a deep kiss, while he kept squeezing and running his hands allover my ass. Next thing I know I'm waking up having an orgasm. I was only 15 when I had this dream. I know! It's horrible!!! My next famous person sex dream was with Woody Allen. Basically the same thing, different scenario. Well last night I had another sex dream but this was with some no namer, just someone my brain made up while I slept unsuspecting. He was short, and he had dark eyes, black hair, and I'm pretty sure he was Jewish. And let me tell you it was a good dream. I think what my Subconscious is trying to tell me is that I am sexually attracted to short Jewish men. La'Chayim!

What took me so long?

2009-01-26T13:55:00.000-06:00

Many years ago I would have turned my nose from listening to Ben folds. But last night I was browsing some photography blogs that I love, and I heard this song. I didn't know who it was I was listening to. So I searched the words on google, and I couldn't believe it, It was Ben Folds. It may be an old song but I have found a new respect for Ben folds, and he has I'm sure found a new fan. What has happened to me? It's so Beautiful, it's killing me.

2009-01-25T14:50:00.000-06:00

Last night while I was digging around in my closet I noticed my mom's guitar tucked away in the blackness of the abyss I call my closet. I pulled it out and and tried to play but I couldn't, I haven't played a guitar in 12 years and even then I wouldn't have called it "playing", but more like learning. I think I have a learning disability when it comes to guitars and I think it's partly due to the fact that my pinkie and ring finger can't seem to work independently. Which leads me to the jealousy I feel for almost everyone in my family. Everyone can play at least one instrument with the exception of me and Josh(brother). My mother plays guitar, piano and sings. My dad plays drums. My grandpa plays mandolin, guitar, banjo, piano. He even cut a record back in the early 50's. My cousin Adam plays oboe, pipe organ, and piano. My other cousin Jess, she plays banjo and guitar. Every single one of them play by ear. Curses! I guess it just wasn't meant to be for me. But that wont keep from trying. The guitar is missing two strings, so tomorrow I'm going to find some, tune it, pick a song, learn it, and then post a video blog of me playing. Any requests?

Just Swell

2009-01-23T19:57:00.000-06:00

Thought I would post one more today before I motor. I dare you to watch this video and feel melancholy. I think I've listened to this 5 times today.

Matt and Kim-Daylight

Moving Pictures

2009-01-23T12:07:00.000-06:00

I need to get busy on my movie watching before the Oscars. I only have a little over 3 weeks to cram in all the nominated movies.(excluding short films and documentary short subjects.) Here's a list of 2008 movies that I've watched.

1. Be Kind Rewind. I love me some Michel Gondry.
2. Let the Right One In. If you haven't seen this, Stop what your doing and go watch.
3. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. This movie was probably my favorite movie of 2008. It was like watching a 3 hour poem. Although I thought the CGI was a little rough. And why did they use a different actor when he became a child, they should of just used some of that CGI magic.
4.Slumdog Millionaire
5.Vicki Christina Barcelona. Oh Woody you never do me wrong except for that time you made that one film. What was it called? Oh yes, Curse of the Jade Scorpion. But we all can't be perfect all of the time.
6.Pineapple Express. This movie hands down has one the funniest endings of a movie that I've ever seen.
7.The Wrestler
8.Wanted
9.Ghost Town
10.The Dark Knight
11.Indiana Jones
12.W
13.Tropic Thunder
14.Forgetting Sarah Marshall
15.WALL-E
16.Kung Fu Panda
17.Bolt
18.Eagle Vs. Shark
19.Funny Games
20.The Orphanage
21.Step Brothers
22.Foot Fist Way
23.Horton Hears a Who

so how am I going to watch all the remaining movies that are up for nomination. I still have to watch...
1.Frost/Nixson
2.Rachel Getting married.(downloading)
3.The Reader.(downloading)
4.Doubt.
5.Milk. I'm mad at myself for not seeing this already.
6.Revolutionary road.(downloading)
7.Changeling.
8.The Visitor.
9.The Duchess.
10.Australia. I don't think I can really do this film.
11.Iron Man.
12.Frozen River.
13.Bruges.
14. Gran Torino. Actually I'm not sure if this ones even up for anything.

This will be a challenge. There are however a couple other films from 2008 that aren't up for nomination that I want to see.
1. Nick and Norah's infinite Playlist.
2. Zach and Miri Make a Porno.
3. Choke.
4. Paranoid Park.
5. The Love Guru. I kid.

I had a dream once.

2009-01-19T13:01:00.000-06:00

But it just got me in a lot of trouble. It was my freshman year of high school. I was waiting outside of my parents house for my boyfriend to pick me up for school. I was stressed out about getting another tardy since I seemed to accumulated a lot of them after I met Mike and he became my form of transportation instead of the ol' faithful school bus. Finally I heard the busted muffler coming around the corner. I get into his beat up Nissan 300zx. He pops in a cassette tape of John Lennon's Imagine and informs me we are going to celebrate MLK day the right way. He had a copy of the I have a dream speech, and told me we were going to make 200 copies of the speech and go to the whitest parts of town and drop the speech into peoples mail boxes hoping that they would read his speech and surly if they even had one racist bone in there body it magically disappear. This is what we did. We were sure that it would make a difference. Maybe it did. We skipped the whole day of school and when I got home I was grounded. Me telling my parents that I had dream did not get me out of this one.

A man once said...

2009-01-19T12:13:00.000-06:00

Hail Satan?

2009-01-17T17:31:00.000-06:00

That's it! I'm changing my blog name. It has come to my attention on more than one occasion that the title of my blog reads a little too churchy. Truth is I am not very good with titles, and Listina's CHRists sounded better than Christina's Lists. What do I know, like I said I suck at the whole title thing. So, if anyone has any suggestions feel free to share. I was thinking maybe, Word Of Life.

2008-12-30T14:42:00.000-06:00

Thought I should write one last post before the new year. Wow! 34 posts in one year. Is that some kind of record? I guess I should make it my new years resolution to post more on here, along with get my house sold, get in shape, Find a job in Tennessee after getting my house sold, and cut back on my consumption of wine now that the holidays are over. Speaking of holidays, here's a list of some of the loot I received this year.
1.A camera and an unbelievably warm coat to wear while taking pictures of the miserably cold weather the Midwest has to offer. Reason #751 why I'm moving back to the south. 2. I've been wanting this book for along time. So much so that I got a copy from 2 different people. The book contains some real photos of real people in 1950's America taken by Swedish photographer Robert Frank. Introduction written by none other than Jack Kerouac. I mean who better to introduce a book on photographs of Americans. I was pleasantly surprised to see a picture taken in Chattanooga (my home town). Such good stuff. 3. this great reprodtion of a 1930's phone. It's ring if even for second makes you feel like your getting a phone call from the past.

4. Walle loves Eve-ah! I loved this movie, and I love these toys. They enteract with each other. Makes you believe in love at first sight.

5. Rock Band 2. Good fun. I tried it live and the only person I could find to play with was a 7 year old indian boy. I destroyed him. Rock On!

Oh say can you see?

2008-10-23T12:25:00.000-05:00

Things I saw last weekend.

A strange parade in my town.
I'm really not sure what this float is representing. Dog food? Elvis? Rocking chair? That tire mascot? Dear god what is this?

This "float" is helping us keep the spirit of John Wayne Gacy alive.

Nazi Youth.

You can't have a parade without break dancing.

And then there was this guy.

A carnival in my town.

Obama's speech in Kansas City that I didn't hear or see. But I did see...

The "special" people. And by special I mean not very smart. And by not very smart I mean low IQ. And by low IQ I mean crazy christian conservative republicans.

A sea of people standing underneath a phalic shaped monument to WWI.

Anna and Elliot hugging.

Went to a farm to pick pumpkins and apples and instead we found...

Last but not least here is a photo of a weird cake I won in a forced cake walk. It had grave yard stlye roses stuck into the top with little water containers stuck at the end of each rose and a pink balloon attached.

A Mona Lisa's Smile

2008-10-07T23:50:00.000-05:00

and Tracy says,"you have to have a little faith in people." That one little line of dialogue says it all. And you get this smile. This perfect smile.

What are you going to be?

2008-10-01T23:26:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited it's officially Halloween time. But I don't know what my costume should be this year. Last years was pathetic. I threw on some mask that I found in my closet and went to a Halloween party. Well, I'm going to the same party this year and I need a great costume. If you have any ideas, throw them my way.

Scenes from last halloween.

The Best Albums Of 2008 (so far...)

2008-09-28T10:53:00.000-05:00

I'll have to admit that it's been kind of a disapointing year for good new music. But there have been a few that I have taken a liken to. So here's a list of my top 6 albums of 2008.

1.The Racontuers, "Consoler's of the Lonely"

2.Portishead, "Third"

This song is just magic.

3.Kings of Leon, "Only by the Night"

4.Vampire Weekend, "Vampire Weekend"

5. Sigur Ros, "Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust"

6.Dr. Dog, "Fate"

So there's my list. It's not finished. Neither is 2008.

Up In Smoke

2008-09-26T12:20:00.000-05:00

Well hello... I'm thinking I should start each new post with why it's been so long since my last post. I have been slacking. Not much inspiration these days. My life just seems to be one bad country song. I mean a really fucked up country song.
But leave it to my father calling me to give me some inspiration.
I got the call from him this morning. He was all excited. Turns out he got tickets to go see Cheech and Chong tonight in Atlanta. Now to my father this a dream come true. My Dad is an advocate for the legalization of marijuana(never new this till I was in my early 20's) The man is on a mission.
Clue's I should of picked up on that he was probably high throughout my childhood,

1. I had horrible earaches as a child and he would lay my head on his lap and blow smoke in my ear which would always make the pain go away and make me sleepy. e.g. He did not smoke cigarettes when I was a child.
2. I remember when I was 4 or 5 years old always seeing what I thought were grape stems in the ashtray on the coffee table. But when I would search the fridge for grapes, none were found. The stems were never discovered again after I asked why I couldn't have grapes, too.
3. I was 10 years old and we were driving across Louisiana headed for Texas. It was late at night and my father was driving. We were all sleeping. When all of the sudden My dad screams like women in a horror flick and slams on the brakes. We nearly went off into alligator infested swamp water. My dad was hyperventilating as he started telling my mom he saw some black hairy shiny 8 ft. tall Bigfoot creature running across the road. Now he was probably smoking while we slept unsuspecting. Or it could be flashbacks from all the peyote he ate as a young man.
4. He asked to borrow my video camera one time and kept it for a couple days and then returned it with the tape still in. I went to rewind it and play back what he recorded. and discovered a reenactment of Cheech and Chong's Dave's not Home and Vietnam. He was by him self and laughing really hard.
5. He took me to my first movie which was Up In Smoke!!!

I always get tear filled phone calls from him when he sees or reads anything on the legalization of. It's very funny actually, you wouldn't know this about him in first meeting. But if you happen to walk into my old bedroom of my parents home you will see that he is trying to perfect the perfect bud. When ever I go back home and visit I have to sleep in that room. It's actually quite nice, I have a path that leads to my bed through a deep tall forest of green. The only thing that's not so nice is that he comes stumbling into my room at 5 in the morning turning on huge heat lamps forgetting I'm in there.Now that he has grand kids when we come visit they are all carefully transported to the garage(the plants). I don't smoke, but when I go home I sneak off with my dad. It's only out of respect. So back to Cheech and Chong, I wish I could go see them with him. The very first movie I ever saw as a child was Up in smoke. My dad actually took me to see this at age 2. I remember the whole event. I think he underestimated my 2 year old brain's ability for memory.

It's Labor Day.

2008-09-01T16:35:00.000-05:00

You must often make erasures if you mean to write what is worthy of being read a second time; and don't labor for the admiration of the crowd, but be content with a few choice readers.
-Horace

The Fountain of Youth

2008-08-30T01:41:00.000-05:00

Mind your manners.

2008-08-28T23:11:00.000-05:00

Today I drove by this house on my way to work that had a tiny handwritten sign that was taped to the very bottom of a mailbox post, halfway covered up by tall grass, the sign read "HUGE YARD SALE" Sweet! A yard sale on a Thursday and no one can know this exist because of the camouflaged sign. Well, when I pulled up I was pleasantly surprised by the Jazz albums they had for only .50 cents a pop. I snatched up a few. And then I found some other cool things that I know I can get a small fortune for on eBay. But one thing I'm keeping(besides the albums) is this little black Vest Pocket Handbook of Etiquette I found. It was written in 1956. And boy have times changed. I'll try and post an Etiquette at least once a week. Such good stuff.

Here's an example of Etiquette from the 50's.

Men's Manners toward Women. a. Offering Her A Cigarette. If you take one yourself, always offer one to any woman you're talking to. If the lady says just "No, thank you," or "Not now, thank you," you must offer them again every time you light one yourself. If she settles the matter by saying, "I don't smoke, thank you," you take her at her word, and don't offer them again. There's no need to get up and run across the room to light her cigarette, but if your close enough you always do. You always light her cigarette when your sitting at the same table or on the same couch, or when you both take cigarettes at once. If you're very thoughtful, you'll carry matches even if you don't smoke.

Band's I've seen.

2008-08-21T23:53:00.000-05:00

It just occurred to me today that I haven't gone to a show in 3 years. Now I know this is partly because I have 2 kids and I'm too busy putting on concerts (or vice versa) for them to actually attend one myself. And partly because I haven't really been excited about bands that have played around here recently. So now I'm going to attempt to remember and list all the bands I've seen.

1.Dead Milkmen- Atlanta
2.Julio Iglesias- Chatt. (took my Grandmother. She sat up 2 lawn chairs in the front row. The worst. But it made her happy.)
3.Belle and Sebastian- Lawrence (A dream come true.)
4.Brendon Benson- Lawrence
5.Ben Kweller- Lawrence
6.Rasputina- Lawrence
7.Radiohead- New york City
8.Radiohead- St. Louis
9.White Stripes- Kansas City
10.Elliott Smith- New York City
11.Blur- NYC
12.Beastie Boys- NYC
13.Guided By Voices- KC
14.Anniversary- KC
15.David Bowie- KC
16.Steven Maulkimus and the Jiks- KC
17.Stereophonics- KC
18.The Strokes- KC
19.The Ravonettes- KC
20.Interpol- KC
21.Calla- KC
22.Wax Wings- Lawrence
23.Yo La Tengo- Lawrence
24.Mars Volta- Lawrence
25.Saul Williams- Lawrence
26.Grandaddy- Lawrence
27.Starlight Mints- Lawrence
28.And you'll know us by the trail of dead- Lawrence(for whomever reads this, Please, Please, if you ever get the chance to see this band live, go. It will change your life. I promise)
29.And You'll Know Us By The Trail Of Dead- KC
30.Secret Machines- KC
31.Explosions in the Sky- Lawrence
32.Pernice Brothers- Lawrence
33.Pete Yorn- Lawrence
Now I know there are more bands I've seen, but that will be another list titled, Bands I've Seen That I Should Be Too Embarrassed To List.

St. Pete.

2008-08-18T23:38:00.000-05:00

"It is an interesting biological fact that all of us have in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea---whether it is to sail or to watch it---we are going back from whence we came."

- John F. Kennedy

Britain Invades!!

2008-08-18T23:01:00.000-05:00

To all who have missed me lately(1 person, maybe 2), I am back. It has come to my attention that it's been 6 weeks since my last blog. I've thought about blogging everyday. I had such juicy bits to write about but I was being stalked and probably still am by a young, creepy, weaselly, not mentally or emotional stable man, named Britain. A couple of months ago I was at my store checking out my fave blogs when I felt the presence of someone walk into the office. I didn't turn around. Then I hear the voice of Britain being nosey as usual say, "What are you reading?" I said, "none of your business" and then he began reading aloud the title of the blog I was reading and he says "interesting" and left. To make a long story short he went and searched for the blog I was reading. Found it and then I'm sure he had to go way back and read every comment till he found one that I left on this person page and that's how he found my blog. He alerted me that he bookmarked it. Now he's going to know everything about me. So I'm hoping that enough time has gone by and he's giving up hope of me ever blogging again. we'll see.

Confessions.

2008-07-02T22:45:00.000-05:00

I'm about to confess something so embarrassing. This is going to be hard for me. OK here goes. I would consider myself someone that's obsessed with music. Good music. I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to the subject. But I have a secret. I have a soft spot, I mean a super soft spot for some bad music. I blame this on my parents. When I was a wee child they were always listening to music, but not good music. Their LP collection consisted of Bread, Abba, John Denver(which I love), Barry Manilow... Just bad, bad, bad. So today I walked into a newly discovered used bookstore. Ready to find Chuck Palahniuk's new book Snuff, I walked by a sea of vinyl. I had to stop and take look and the first album I see is Abba. I Flip it over and just wish that I could pull of their 70's Swedish spandex karate suit wearing style. Second album I see is Bread. Ooh the melodic hypnotizing words of Everything I Own. I don't actually pick them up. I get nervous look around to make sure no ones looking. Then I noticed a Burt Bacharach album. I looked around again and quickly picked them all up along with Journey and Boston. And then headed off to find Snuff. Walked to front layed my goods down hoping that the cashier wasn't nosey and want to chat about my selections. So there's my confession. I should be ashamed.

Today's random thoughts.

2008-07-01T22:42:00.000-05:00

1. When should I start using anti-wrinkle products? I guess since I'm turning 32 next Tuesday, maybe I should start looking into that. I think I'll just stick to sunscreen.

2. I wonder if sex would suck on memory foam. It seems like it would.

3. Yes!! Tom Petty on the radio. I need to download some Tom Petty, but I always forget.

4. Oh god who does that elderly lady think she is yelling at what appears to be her elderly husband. Why is head hanging down while she rips him a new one. She needs to stop. It feels like I'm watching two kids. The old lady being the bully kid and the old man being the bullied kid. I just want to run over there and save that old man from his wife.

5.I can't believe I didn't know that Francis Ford Coppola was going to make an adaptation of Jack Kerouac's On The Road. who would play Jack. He's going to fuck it up. I just know it.

2008-06-30T14:22:00.000-05:00

Counting down the days till Bush/Cheney are out.

2008-06-29T22:25:00.000-05:00

Lucky Me.

2008-06-27T00:22:00.001-05:00

As a child I was amazed at my mothers ability to find 4 leaf clovers. I remember always trying to find them and never finding even one. Well today I not only found one, but 12. I could not believe it. I was playing outside with my kids and I looked down and saw a huge patch of clovers and instantly saw one, then two, then three... I Found twelve!!!!! I was so excited. Who finds 12 four leaf clovers? Me. Now I never thought I was a superstitious person, I mean I should be, I was raised by the most superstitious man I know. I mean my dad would never let me kill a spider in the house because it would bring bad luck. Nor could you kill a cricket. Most of his superstitions he would make up which makes me think he's suffering from a bad case of OCD. For example, he kept a knife in his bedroom window with the blade facing out. I would always turn it around just to see how long it would take him to turn it back. He has a black button up shirt that he wears every time he goes to the doctor. He wont wear any other shirt. He says that he wears it because the first time he wore it his physical went great, so it had to be the shirt. He's been wearing the same black shirt for 15 years. When he leaves the house he puts a nickel in his left pocket and a dime and a quarter in his right pocket. There are too many of my fathers superstitions to list. You would think that I would be superstitious, well I'm not or I should say wasn't. After finding the clovers I went and bought a scratcher(which I never do) and won 50 bucks. Then I went to a thrift store and found an awesome pull down world map. You know like the ones that you find in classrooms. I've always wanted one. As I was turning the corner to purchase my new found treasure that's when I found the Underwood. Gleaming with all its history. I swear I could of screamed tears of joy when I saw it. There was some little boy abusing the hell out of it typing away. I stood over the little boy anxious every time he pounded the keys. I thought where's his mother? Does she see what he doing? He's abusing it. He finally got up to go look at a bin filled with misc. McDonald's toys, dirty stuffed animals, and dolls with there heads ripped off. Finally I carefully picked it up, look to see what damage was done, and then took it up to the counter and paid for it. I can't believe I found an antique Underwood typewriter. I mean it looks like the type Jack Kerouac used. Maybe I'll channel him when I write my first book on it.

figuring out how to get the ribbon to work.

Got it working!

Starting my masterpiece.

A man that I would... If I could.

2008-06-27T00:17:00.000-05:00

Aviophobia.

2008-06-24T00:15:00.000-05:00

I have to fly in 2 weeks and I'm scared. I'm not sure where my fear of flying came from because when I was little I would fly back to the states from Germany twice a year for 5 years and I loved it. Oh wait! I remember where my fear came from. It was February 12, 2005. I was flying back home from Las Vegas and when I was 3 months pregnant, And the plane went through some pretty nasty turbulence that lasted about 2hours. It got so violent that the flight attendant that was sitting in eye view from me was crying and praying. The lady next to me was holding my hand and she told me she flew up to three times a week and had never experienced anything like it. Well needless to say I told myself I would never fly again. But of course I've flown 4 times since and every time I get religious and try to make a pact with god not to let me die. Speaking of death, I thought I would make a list of my Near Deaths in no particular order.

1. I was 2 years old and we lived in an apt above a restaurant in a village right outside Crailsheim Germany. I don't really remember what happened, but my folks tell me that I climbed into bed with them(which I never did), and about an hour later we woke up to smoke and my bedroom was in flames. My toy box caught on fire which was right next to my bed. An old fan without a guard had fallen from the window into my toy box and that's what did it. If I hadn't gotten out of bed and crawled in with my parents I would probably be dead.

2. I was 18 and I decided to hike up to a blue hole to go swimming. I first had to cross a river by foot which is harder that it looks. Then I had to scale some large sloping rocks in my wet skirt and wet slippery sandals. I finally got to the last part of the trail where I had to jump from one huge rock to the another slightly taller rock. I knew I could land it if I hadn't been wearing the wet sandals, but of course I tried anyways and lost my grip and my boyfriend grabbed my hand and held on. It was just like a scene from a movie. I looked down and it was about a twenty five foot fall onto a splintered tree and some other pointy rocks. Well my hand slipped out of his and I fell. I just remembered thinking it was going to hurt, and it did. I missed the tree by about 2 feet and I just lay there crying. I couldn't believe I was alive and not paralyzed. My boyfriend slid down the other side of the boulder and told me not to move. He told me some joke about hair lips and wood eyes to make me laugh. I finally got up. Not even a bruise.

3.I was 20 years old and went on a road trip with 3 friends that I thought would last a summer and ended up lasting almost a year. Towards the end of our adventure we all had run out of money and things to pawn, we ended up staying with the dead beat father of one of the guys I was traveling with who lived on an ostrich farm outside of Houston. One night we took his dad's truck out, Steve drove and I got in the back with the other 2 and off we went down some dark, hot, lonely Texas road. I would say we were going about 40 mph when all of a sudden Steve slammed on the brakes to miss an animal and out I flew out. I never hit my head on the road I just balled up and rolled and bounced down pavement into a ditch. It was like I had trained for this event. I got up and was fine. Just a little pissed and shook up.

4. Five years ago one of my good friends got married in Miami. The night before he got married me and all his best men went out for drinks on south beach. We hit every bar, we only drank the best Tequila that his daddy's credit card could buy. It was fun until I blindly walked right into the path of a car going about 60 mph. luckily I was pulled away just in time for only my flip flops to get ran over. I have to say this was the scariest out of all these near death experiences.

5. A long time ago, and once upon a time, some friends and I heard of a Rainbow Gathering that was taking place somewhere in Kentucky and decided we would check it out. After driving for 18 hours lost in the woods we finally found the starting point of the trail which was a 10 mile hike to the gathering. On our way down we were warned by some Hippies of the gravel road we would have to walk down that was covered in rattle snakes. By this point we had already gone half way so I convinced everyone to keep going and thought it couldn't be that bad. Well by the time we reached the gravel road it was dark and it was lined with rattlers. One the guys I was with was a big burly guy and he started crying and shaking. So we all got in a single formed line and held on or hugged onto each other while my boyfriend who was pushed to the front of the line laughed nervously as we all kept our eyes closed and whimpered. We tip toed about 200 yards down the road and heard their rattlers the whole way. I would consider that knocking on heavens door.

6. I used to live Los Angeles, and I loved it. But I hated the traffic. The first week I moved there I decided I should probably get insurance on my car. Realizing it wasn't smart that I drove across America with no insurance and even more stupid to be living in L.A. without insurance. You see where this is going? I pull out of my garage and turn my blinker on to make a right turn onto Van Nuys. I look both ways and see that I got it. All of a sudden I'm in mid turn and my friend Adam Yells, "Oh Shit" and then I just remember the sound and force of a car t-boning my side of the car. I looked over at my boyfriend and it was all in slow motion he starts getting out of the car trying to get my door open. Luckily my apartment building was right in front of Sherman Oaks hospital because a Doctor saw the whole crash and helped me out of the passengers side of the car. I kept telling everyone I was alright but by the way the car looked (the guy was going 65mph through a red light) there was no way I was OK. I laid down on the sidewalk because everyone was telling me to do so. That's when I got scared. Maybe I was really hurt, but the shock and adrenaline from the crash made me believe I was fine. I just remembered laying on the warm concrete looking up at the blue sky and seeing one tiny wispy cloud, and thinking If I die, this is going to be the last thing I see. I started feeling dizzy just in time for paramedics to walk me across the street to the hospital. After a number of tests they sent me to large room with several beds that where all divided by white curtains. After putting my clothes on I hopped on the edge of the bed and pulled the curtain open and waited for the doctor. There was no one else in the room. All I could think about was if the guy who hit me was ok. Shortly after, the guy who hit me walks in. He was a skinny, short, scared, Hispanic guy about my age. I was so happy he wasn't dead. His nice sports car was smashed up like a soda can. After seeing he was fine, The shear panic of not having insurance took over me. I knew it was his fault, but still I had no insurance, would this mean I would be at fault. I thought I was screwed. Alive but screwed. I smiled at him and asked if he was OK. He couldn't speak English. I felt really bad for him because come to find out he was more screwed than me. He was an Illegal alien driving someones car without insurance. We knew we were both screwed. I bought him a Coke and a pack of cookies and we ate cookies cut our losses and then went our separate ways, Alive with a few mild concussions.

Something Worth Watching.

2008-05-28T18:12:00.000-05:00

Satan's Circus.

2008-05-18T22:09:00.000-05:00

I love when small time traveling circuses come through the very small mid western town that I live in, because they always ask to put their posters up in my store and I always take at least one home to add to my collection. Now traveling circuses have always been very intriguing to me. I mean who are these people? Are they from a long line of tight rope walkers? Did their great grandfathers tame the lions? I wish that circuses still traveled by train. Maybe they do. Anyway I was pleasantly surprised to see this scary circus poster hanging in the door of my store. I am so going to this one. I mean take a close look at the clowns. The creepy one in the back sneakily laughing as the psychopath in the middle is throwing dynamite to the screaming clown. The best part is that it just says "Coming Here." Evil, WAHAHAHAHA!!

Malocclusion Love.

2008-04-29T14:29:00.000-05:00

Malocclusion (-ə klo̵̅o̅′z̸hən) noun. condition in which the upper and lower teeth do not fit together properly. An overbite is a common example of a malocclusion.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who finds overbites extremely sexy. I don't mean narley buck teeth where when you shut your mouth the teeth stick out in a perpindicular matter with drool leaking out the corners of your lips because you can't get proper suction in the swallow. It all started with Freddy Mercury. When I was young girl I saw this video and probably had my first sexual fantasy. I mentioned how I thought he was so hot, but everyone would respond in disgust because of his teeth. So I hid my attraction and thought I was a freak. I'm wondering if me having a huge crush on Freddy Mercury affected who my boyfriends have been throughout my life. ie. First real boyfriend was in 10th grade his name was Mike Hardemen and he was the spitting image of a young Tom Petty. Now if you ever see pics of Tom Petty he too has an overbite. I'm sure this is why I was attracted to Mike. My first serious boyfriend was Jeremy Posey. His friends and family called him Buck. He was born without an overbite, but when he was 17 he went to a skate park and droped in on a 12ft. vert ramp and knocked out his front 4 teeth. The new teeth he was given were huge and slightly pretruding. I'm not saying that I am only attracted to men with buck teeth, I mean the man I married has perfectly straight teeth. I just find teeth sexy. I think I'm the only woman who wished that their teeth were not so straight. Oh god! Why couldn't I have gotten teeth like Beverly D'angelo?

2008-04-24T23:40:00.000-05:00

While grocery shopping today I over heard two teenagers talking one isle over about the new kid at their school and one said, "I think she's a Nark." And I laughed because everyone remembers when they were in school and there was the new kid that everyone suspected of being "The Nark". That Mythical high school creature, "The Nark." With a smile and a bit of nausea, memories of friends, drugs, and high school came rushing back.

Paul N.- This is where It all began. It was 4Th grade and Mrs. Trew alerted us there was a new student coming today and he would be in our class. Oh the excitement of a New student. He entered the class, and my life, in brown corduroys, an orange and brown stripe sweater, and grey hush puppy shoes. He sat down in the empty seat behind me. Little did I know that I would no longer be the shy quiet girl, but the girl who had to pull her seat in the hall because she was disrupting the class with laughter. He would just look at me and make a face and I would be sent straight to the hall. The last straw was when we all gave our book reports in front of class. Mine was on Anne Frank's Diary. I was really excited about giving my report. I even dressed up like her. Nothing was going to mess this up. I just could not look at Paul and everything would go smoothly. I stood up in front of class holding my piece of paper, ready to blow the teacher and class away with my eloquent report. I looked at Paul and he took a hamburger shaped eraser and started silently eating it and I just broke down in tears and laughter. Mrs. trew jumped up out of her seat and grabbed me and Paul and sent us out in the hall and stuck me in one corner of the hall and him in the other. Shortly after that, Paul's Mom and dad divorced and his Dad got custody of him and he was taken away from me. He told me he was moving to Schenectady New York. Oh god I was devastated. Where was Skin-neck-titty?(this is how he told me how to remember the pronunciation) I got used to his absence pretty fast I got used to not spewing chocolate milk out my nose(sometimes even food) at lunch.

5 years later. 1988, 8Th grade. New kid enters class. It was Paul N.. This time he was wearing tight jeans with holes in the knees, a Motley Crue Shout At The Devil T-Shirt, and sporting long brown hair with bleached tips. I couldn't believe it, he entered my life again. He sat down in the empty seat across the room and looked back at me and smiled. He remembered me! We instantly became friends without ever discussing 4Th grade. His locker was right next to mine. He wasted no time taping Guns N Roses poster that he ripped out of the latest issue of Metal Edge. Poor guy. I quickly turned him on to what I was listening to and the posters came down fast. Summer came and he was gone again. Back to Skin-neck-titty.

10Th grade. There he was. This time he was wearing corduroys similar to the ones from fourth grade, Birk's, and a Doors tee. There we were, friends like no time had gone by. We talked about the Music we were listening to, the books we were reading, and the drugs he was taking. I always wanted to get high but never really had the opportunity presented to me. And now I had the teacher and the tools. Little did I know that one Autumn night in 10Th grade behind his mom's house in the woods, taking hits from his prized glass pipe, would change my life forever. He told me I probably wouldn't get high the first time, but I was on a mission, and I had succeeded. It was the best feeling sitting under the tree laughing till I literally puked. We slowly made our way through the woods back to his house. He then told me he was taking me to see Pink Floyd's the wall. There was a midnight showing at Regal Cinemas. I told him that I didn't really like Pink Floyd (which was like telling a christian that you hate Jesus). He didn't take the news well. So I called my mom and dad stoned out of my gourde and told them I was staying at my friend Amy's house. We got to the theatre and all I remember is everything was orange. The glow of the orange carpet and the orange walls was hypnotizing. But the trance was quickly broken by the paranoid feeling that everyone was looking at me because I was stoned. I remember wanting to just sit down in the dark theater so I could get my shit together. Next thing I know I'm watching two flowers fuck on screen and @ that moment I thought Pink Floyd was the best thing my ears had ever witnessed. but then the buzz wore off, and I came to my senses. 10Th grade went by and we discovered we weren't the only two people on earth and started making other friends. Slowly our separate lives began and that's when I met April.

I met April in 11Th grade in English Lit. we sat far away from each other in an over populated classroom. By the end of the semester she decided to come and sit in front of me. as she was sitting down I noticed she was wearing an old leather belt that looked like it was bought at truck stop in the 70's, with the words JESUS LOVES YOU carved into it. I giggled and said, "I like your belt." She turned around with big doey over sized blue eyes, and said very seriously "my dad used to spank me with it". and then she made a whipping motion while saying "Jesus loves you." I knew at that moment I was going to be her friend. A couple of days after our first introduction the weekend had come and I was planning on going to a rave with a girl I had met from work. I get to the rave. Lose my friend, and decided to go out on the dance floor. I then felt a tap on my back and there she was, April. She was holding a large balloon and screaming, "Christina! This is my boyfriend Rob!" I looked next to her in the flashing strobe and I see a tall skinny guy holding a green balloon with the biggest shit eating grin while taking a hit off it. She then ask if I wanted one. I said "what? a balloon" and then she yelled "a NITROUS balloon!" Now at this moment I remembered where I had heard the word nitrous. once in a physical science class(boring) and once at the dentist when he told me he was now going to let me breath in a little nitrous oxide(glorious). With this re found memory there was no hesitation I said, "yes" and that's when I discovered a couple seconds of what I'm sure heroin would of felt like. Next thing I know I'm spending everyday all day with my new friends April and Rob. Rob came from a wealthy family, attended an all boys preparatory school, had a relentless drive for his next high, and never had money.

I then became friends with all his friends. This was trouble, I ended up experimenting with every drug known to me at the time. Some how I manage to keep my grades up and be home @ curfew. My time spent with Rob and the others was short lived, thank god. I Didn't think I could've listened to one more Grateful Dead song. I think back on the time we used my van to break into Rob's fathers dentist office to steal a Nitrous tank, and the time rob came by my place of employment and handed me the cellophane off a pack of cigarettes filled with 4 triple-dipped hits of Felix the Cat acid, and told me to take them an hour before I got off work. This was my first time ever doing acid and I was then about to consume the equivalent of 12 hits of acid. I thought what harm could it do. I was excited, so I decided to eat it 2 hours before I got off work. I started tripping an hour before closing. I remember just finding a table in the far corner of my work, closest to the door, that way I could escape if it got too much. And It got too much. I remember just staring at the restroom door because it looked like it was breathing or at least slowly bending. I then thought if I close my eyes and pictured myself invisible it would surely work and no one would see me. I sat waiting for Rob and April and the fucking Garcia crew to show up. Finally in storms Rob. Smiling and saying, "did you take them yet?" I said, "yeah?", and then he said "shit none of us have taken ours yet." I thought what the fuck had I gotten myself into. There was no turning back now. I followed him out to our friend Chuck's jeep(Chuck, who 3 years later died on the side of the road after taking cat tranquilizers mixed with booze). I climb in the back seat next to April who hands off a giant cooler of beer to me, while Chuck turns the shit they called music (The Dead) on full blast. I noticed there was a Tank of Nitrous straddled in between me and April with the valve facing Chuck and Rob. As rob handed off balloons filled with hippie crack to me and April he filled one for himself and the driver Chuck. I took a long drag. My body felt like it was falling forward and all I remember was looking up and saying, "I'm fishing" and everyone laughed as I felt the cooler slipping through my fingers. I couldn't hold onto it. I was convinced there was water pouring all down around it making it impossible to hold onto. That's when I noticed the driver was now taking hits off his balloon. Even in the state I was in, I fucking knew what he was doing would probably kill us. So I just closed my eyes and convinced my self I was in a plane experiencing some mild turbulence. We ended up at a party where I guess everyone was on acid. I followed rob to a bedroom that seemed to be filled with 100 people and they start passing bowl after bowl after joint after joint until the next thing I know I'm laughing and the girl next to me starts laughing and that's when I look up to see what I thought was rob looking back with his mouth wide open in shock at me. That's when I felt a fire come over my back and then the shit hit the fan. Next thing I know I'm in a wood paneled hallway with my friend Jason(who died 5 years later committing suicide, jumping off a bridge) holding me trying to get me to hold some fucking crystal around his neck, telling me to feel the positive energy coming from it. I went home the next day still tripping and my dad immediately was on me. I just told him what I did and he started giving me milk and vitamin b . Apparently my dad knew this cure from his youth. I found out at that moment he used to host acid parties for days at a time before I was born, until my mom made him stop. He never told my mom about my condition. My curiosity for hallucinates was over and I moved on.

12Th grade. Now this is were my memory of "Nark" comes into play. I was sitting in the commons area of my high school minding my own business when in walks this hot guy wearing a Clockwork Orange shirt, a leather jacket and carrying a helmet. He looks lost. He looks older than your average Senior. But above all else he looks New. Later that day lunchtime rolls around and he comes and sits right in front of me. I couldn't believe it. We introduce ourselves. He tells me his name is Jeremy S. His last name was actually S. The bell rings and we go our separate ways. Later that day I start hearing the rumor that there was a nark in school, and it was my new friend Jeremy S. Now, I really don't think someone going undercover would ever choose to have this last name. I brush off this rumor and naturally I start going to his house after school to smoke. One time I made the mistake of getting high after school and then having to leave straight from his place to go work. I never had been so stoned. I would drive up to lights and not really remember if green meant go or if red meant stop. So I just stared at the driver next to me and did what he did. Needless to say when I got to work they sent me home.

Later that year Mr. S. asked me to prom. Now I really had no desire to go with him, but I said yes. He picks me up night of prom. I hop on the back of his bike and we ride off into the sunset to a shitty motel. I think cool well smoke a joint in our room go to prom, leave, come back and get high some more. Well, we get there and discus how we really didn't want to go but it would be fun to get our picture taken in front of one of those cheesy prom back drops. That's when he pulls out two joints. one for me and one for him. His was rolled in white paper, and mine was wrapped in leopard print paper. I found out when I got to prom why my joint was so special. I immediately start feeling my heart pound. The music sounded like it was screaming my name over and over again. I get paranoid because I kept thinking there's a group of teachers standing in every corner and then I would look again it would be bouquet of balloons. I was pissed and confused. I asked the "Nark" what the hell was in the joint and he laughs and Say's, "Dust". What? What the hell is dust. I lost him fast and searched for my friend Davina. I finally found her. She resembled an Amazonian Molly Ringwald. She looks shocked and asked me what's wrong, I told her I didn't know and tell her to come help me find my van. Now I was so fucked up I forgot I drove on the back of motorcycle, and was convinced I was park somewhere outside. So we (Davina and I) search all over downtown for my van, when I realized I had rode with Jeremy. She then says, "lets get out of here." Next thing I know I'm with Paul N. and Molly Ringwald in the back alley of another fucking rave buying a Nitrous balloon. Well that was the end of my drug experimenting in high school. I never really talked to Jeremy S. again. Found out "Dust" was PCP. He later moved away to become a Nark in someone Else's school.

It's Earth Day.

2008-04-22T14:19:00.000-05:00

It should be Earth Day everyday. Alright, people get off your asses and start doing something. Recycle. Use less water. Use less energy. turn your thermostat up in the summer time. You seriously will get used to it. This one was not hard for me, because i like heat. I like opening all my windows and feeling a warm breeze. Ride a bike(if possible). Stop buying plastic bottles of water. Buy a bottle and just reuse it. Buy cloth bags for groceries and such. Buy used books. Did you know that it takes 15-20 trees to make one average size novel? Crazy! Buy produce that's grown locally. This helps out local farmers and think of all that energy used in fuel to eat that banana shipped from Central America. It really is easy living green. Just try to make a conscious effort to make the least amount of negative impact on the environment. Because one day if we don't stop being selfish and careless this will be our world(see pic above), and I don't want that for my children.

EARGASM

2008-04-21T23:28:00.000-05:00

Midnight Juggernauts-Into the Galaxy

So lately I've been a bit of a Junkie for the Juggernauts. Good Stuff. Especially this song. I can't get enough.
Here's a list of some other songs I've been compulsively playing in an obsessive sort of way.
1. M.I.A- Paper Planes. (Great driving music.)
2.Smog- Cold Blooded Old Times.
3.Bill Callahan- Sycamore.
4.Midlake- We Gathered in Spring
5.Chad Vangaalen- Clinically Dead
6.DATAROCK- FaFaFa
7.Bach- Air on a G String
8.Bob Dylan- I'm not there. (this a great song that was never released until the movie came out.)

Movies That I could Watch Over and Over Again.

2008-04-09T13:44:00.000-05:00

1. The Dreamers

2. Sweet and Lowdown

3. Eagle Vs. Shark

4. Life Aquatic

5. Hannah and Her Sisters

6. Amelie

7. Harold an Maude

8. Rushmore

9. Goonies

10. When Harry Met Sally

11. The Lost Boys

12. Back To The Future

13. Once

Some Things I Would Like To Do.

2008-04-08T14:11:00.000-05:00

1. Take my children to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.
2. Hike the entire Appalachian trail. From Georgia to Maine. 2175 miles.
3. Race in a Hot air balloon race.
4. Go to Amsterdam with my dad. (going in Sept.)
5. Speak fluent Spanish.
6. Speak fluent French.
7. Learn to sail.
8. Live in a shanty by the sea.
9. Stay at a Buddhist monastery in Japan.
10. Record all of the great stories my grandpa Jack tells. That way I never forget them.
11. Open up a true southern restaurant. Serving all of my favs. Chocolate gravy with buttermilk biscuits. Fried green tomatoes. Potato cakes. Pinto beans and cornbread. Fried Okra. coleslaw. Blackberries with cream and sugar. Sweet tea! Fried Chicken. Spicy peel and eat shrimp with lots of cocktail sauce and crackers.
12. Live a high tech life off the grid. I've done some research on this and it looks like you need quite a bit of dough to pull this off.
13. Live in Paris for a year.

April Fool's.

2008-04-01T14:46:00.000-05:00

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four." ~ Mark Twain

3 things that made me laugh today,

2008-04-01T01:49:00.000-05:00

Make sure you watch this twice. The first time you watch it Eric (brown hair guy) will be the funniest. The second time the blonde guy (Tim) will be the funniest. Great stuff.

Places I've Stepped Foot On.

2008-03-31T00:25:00.000-05:00

Riders On The Storm. (that's a pickle in my mouth)

1. Georgia
2. Tennessee
3. New York
4. Germany
5. Spain
6. Austria
7. Switzerland
8. North Carolina
9. South Carolina
10. Alabama
11. Mississippi
12. Louisiana
13. Texas
14. Kentucky
15. Illinois
16. Missouri
17. Kansas
18. Iowa
19. Minnesota
20. Florida
21. Maryland
22. Virginia
23. West Virginia
24. D.C.
25. New Jersey
26. Oklahoma
27. Arkansas
28. New Mexico
29. Arizona
30. Nevada
31. California
32. Mexico

Favorite Authors. (In no particular order)

2008-03-29T23:36:00.000-05:00

1. John Irving
2. John Steinbeck
3. Jack Kerouac
4. J.D. Salinger
5. Victor Hugo
6. Chuck Palahniuk

I love reading and there are too many authors that I love, but these would probably be my favorite. I'm sure over time more will be added.

Earth Hour

2008-03-29T13:29:00.000-05:00

Today my friends is the day for everyone around the world to turn their lights off for one hour at 8 p.m. If your feeling generous turn them off longer. So join me, wont you? Check out the Earth Hour site and sign up and show your support.

Listmania!

2008-03-29T13:06:00.001-05:00

So it seems like my whole life I've been making lists. It has become somewhat of an obsession. I think there is probably some sort of disorder for it. I'll look that up. Anyway, I bought myself this book the other day called, "Listography". It's a book full of blank pages with a title subjects for lists, such as a Biggest Regrets list, Pets You've Had, Favorite Restaurants.....you get the idea. I was so excited to get home and start filling it out. It was like Christmas morning. This was the joy I felt. This Blog will mainly consist of my lists and some other things that are important to me or not so important. So enjoy and feel free to make your own lists.